I am tired. My body is worn and I am feeling older. I don’t know if it’s the pace of our lives or my pathetic time management, or maybe the 8 mo old that refuses to sleep through the night. It could be the special needs child that needs constant supervision. It could be that I need to go to confession and receive those graces. It could be that we have such a large family.
It could be a thousand things.
But as I sit gazing into my beautiful son’s eyes I think none are as high on my list right now as the babe in arms, the little nursling, that is NOT going to sleep tonight. He’s singing me a song instead.
A new found friend recently commented on how wonderful it was that I could just live “in the moment” instead of obsessing so much on what needs to be done next. She made it sound so beautiful, so virtuous. The stark reality is that if I looked at my calendar past what today, maybe even this hour, holds I would weep.
I am tired.
I am worn.
But, I have to live in the moment and gaze into my son’s eyes and kiss his beautiful cheeks and stroke his silken hair and not think about how the minutes on the clock are ticking by, more and more quickly, it seems, as the night progresses. Not thinking about lost sleep, but time spent with a precious baby.
Please God help me remember the moment, instead of the schedule.