the right experts

We have boys coming in and out of our home throughout the day.  The front door is in a constant state of motion as kiddos clamour in and out with various games and toys and drinks and food.  It’s very difficult to keep that constant motion, the never-ending flow of life spilling out of our house, from driving me absolutely insane.  I want peace and quiet.  I want rest and respite.  However, that doesn’t seem to be what God is calling me to right now.  This season of life is full of commotion and life and it’s something I need to embrace and see for the blessing it is.  Not an easy task to tell my heart to quit yearning for that which is not mine.   No coveting the quiet and peaceful life of the cloistered nuns down the road. 

I have a hard time remembering to be thankful for the fullness that this life brings until our neighborhood children remind me how beautiful this large, bustling family actually is.  One family in particular has only two children.  It was a conscious choice to only have two and one that both parents are quite happy with.  These children are at our home a lot, a whole lot.  I don’t mind most of the time and my children love them.  All of my children love them.  

When the oldest child comes in the faces of every one of my boys lights up, from the infant to the oldest (who is actually the friend he’s coming to see).  The youngest that can speak shout his name and clamour up to talk to him and hug him.  His first thing, before he greets my oldest boy, who he’s come to see, is to stop and play with the little brother.  To ooogle the baby and tickle him, give the two-year old a piggy back ride and throw balls for the four-year old.  This boy has to often be pulled away from the little brothers to play with the big kids.  He loves the babies, the littles as we call them.  I catch him saying things like “I wish I had a little brother like you” to my oldest. 

I sometimes am afraid that I’m doing my children some kind of disservice by having a large family.  It’s hard not to fall into the trap of believing what the world says about families and children.  I think my children could be missing out on something until I realize that while my peers are looking at me and telling me everything I’m doing wrong, that somehow our family size will create unfixable psychological problems that will haunt my children forever, their peers are whispering “I love your brothers, I wish I had some too” and seeing how lucky they are to have someone to play with and enjoy and share their childhood with.

I just need to listen to the right “experts”.

zooommm

Just a quick drive by to say that we had a cold front come through!!  It dropped all the way down to 95 yesterday!!!  Today, we’ll hit about 90!  I can’t tell you how incredibly refreshing 95 feels after dealing with 108!

stress much?

I wish I had something remarkable to say today, but it’s just not there. 

I’m tired. 

It’s August, and unbearably hot outside.  It’s incredibly draining to just walk to your car. 

We’re moving.  Yep.  We sold our house, that process was insanely disappointing.  You have dreams of what selling your house will be like, then you have nightmares.  It was a wee bit worse than the nightmare.  It ended with the buyers coming back, a week after the whole business started, and more than 24 hrs after our final deadline, to ask if they could have the house at our bottom line after all.  We waffled for over an hour and then said “yes” with the caveat that if there were only one. single. hiccup. we would pull our house AND not sell it to them, ever.  Not six months from now, not a year from now.  They’ve believed us, so far.

Awesome thing is that we found a home for our family.  large, all one floor.  Two living areas (can you say “playroom”?), three bathrooms and an awesome outbuilding larger than a typical two car garage.  The outbuilding also has a finished room attached.  No bathroom out there, but it’s still awesome!  AND, the most wonderful thing about it is the fact that it sits on 2-3 acres, depending on who you talk to!!!!!!!!  We are so excited.  Kids can’t wait, and neither can I.  The whole moving process is so difficult and had we enough money I would TOTALLY have hired someone to do it. I believe it would have been well worth it!  Didn’t think about that in the budgeting.  Next time, if there is a next time, I will!!

SO, posting will likely be slim as I am in the state of flux that is moving.  Top that with the fact that as soon as we get moved in we’re going to have to start a new school year and it might be years before you hear from me again!!  (well, probably not years, but days anyway!)