I love camping.

I decided on Thursday night that we needed an outing as a family, just us. So we went camping. Left Friday afternoon. We got to the camp site to find out they were full except for one spot that is typically RV and charged as much (18.00) but we took it. We needed the electric for the air mattress anyway and there was a great spot for our tent and the kids to run around. We set up camp and had dinner and it was great. Got the kids to bed, Dh and I had some tea and then went to bed. Dumb idea. Drinking tea before bed when the bathroom is over half a mile away. Ugh. I didn’t want to drive through the camp ground so I just held it.  All night.

We woke up (waking up is relative here, it assumes I slept. Everyone else did. I however did not. Maybe an hour, all night, the sun took forEVER to come up!!  I can’t  tell you how many times I sat up to look out the window of the tent hoping to see a glimmer of a sunrise only to be greeted by stars.  Beautiful stars, but still.) Saturday morning to discover that our air mattress had a slow leak. We were on the ground. Oh well. It’s camping. We made a fire and cooked breakfast: sausage, eggs and pancakes. The eggs were super yummy! Kinda smokey flavored!! Yum. Then the wind picked up. A lot. A WHOLE lot. Gusting around 40, probably sustained around 25. We went for a hike, came back and fixed and ate lunch in the vehicles. It was just too hard to be out in the wind. Dh took the kids minigolfing and I went to take a nap with #5. The wind was so bad it was keeping him up. We did finally decide we could start a fire so we could get smores and hot dogs in. We had loftier plans for dinner, but we couldn’t get the fire too big or have it last too long. Oh well. We had our smores and took the kids to the showers and put them to bed. That night was horrible. We lost a couple of tent stakes to the wind and the sides were coming in on top of us when it blew! No one slept.

On Sunday we woke up to calmer winds, had cereal and then went to rent a canoe for the kids. Dh took them all out and everyone but #5 had a turn rowing! It was too cute. We got back to camp and packed everything up and headed home. It was so nice to sleep in a REAL bed!! This big ol pregnant woman can’t deal with sleeping straight on the ground very well!

Now I am dealing with the pain of my spontanity.  My hip is hurting so bad it’s difficult to walk, or sit, or stand.  My temper is beyond short.  I hope that our little trip will be a good memory for the kids.  I think next time we’ll choose a different campground and maybe a cot.  Those don’t deflate.

Advertisements

suffering

I recently had a conversation with a friend who has suffered great loss in her life.  She was discussing with me what she thought to be the reason (for lack of a better word) for her suffering.  One theory is that she was allowed to endure this suffering to impact the lives she would encounter during the peak of the pain.  Another theory is that God would not allow suffering unless it would impact your salvation.  Whether or not it impacts others is neither necessary or intended.

I have to say after mulling it over a while I really think that our Catholic understanding of suffering is so deep and strong and not self centered.  I totally believe that God would allow great suffering in my life because there was someone in my path that needed the example that I would set forth.  Not that I am confident that I would necessarily handle the suffering in the most “saintly” way, I am hopeful that I would.  I have a pregnant brain right now or I would be able to answer the question for myself, but there have to be saints that have suffered greatly solely for the salvation of others.  Endured great pain, or loss only for the souls of others.  As a matter of fact, the people in purgatory can only use their suffering for the benefit of others, right?

I can see the other theory.  I can see how often God could use your suffering to help in your own salvation, but even then I think that if you are truly trusting in the redemptive character of suffering then you are going to have a huge effect on those around you.  Your example of enduring that suffering will show others what great love you have for your Savior, it will attract them to that which gives you hope and strength.  So I don’t really see how it’s possible to have your suffering only impact you and your life.  The mere fact that  you are living through it, believing and trusting in God, praising Him even, will have an incredible impact on those around you.  Whether intended or not.

Never did actually get the grocery shopping done.  I’m working on a month long menu though and a list to go with it.

Today is room cleaning day for the kiddos.  They’re not thrilled with me, but I haven’t been able to vacuum the boy’s room in quite a while.  It’s time.  Well past time even.  I worked on my room yesterday, it’s mostly done.  I didn’t make it to the top of my dresser and dh isn’t done with his side of the room but I think I can finish what he didn’t get to.  Now the rest of the house is a mess, but that’s another day.

is it windy out there?

I have made a menu.  I will conquer our shopping list today and go shopping even if it means that I have to go at midnight!!!  We are eating out, partly due to poor planning, partly due to the soccer schedule we are keeping.  I will cook at home!!!!  As God as my witness I will cook at home!

Ok.  Now that I am done with my Scarlett O’Hara moment I am better.  But I WILL go shopping!!

no?

I haven’t blogged in a bit.  Sorry about that.  Life has been busy.  Still.  I seem to have a sufficient amount of “catholic guilt” and saying “no” doesn’t appear to be something I’m capable of.  Ever.  Need me to drop everything so I can take care of something for you ?  Sure.  Why not?  I don’t have enough to accomplish, I need to take more on.  Today even.  How about now???  Ugh!

I’ve also been struggling.  My prayer life only exists in the short bursts of “hey God, it’s me.  I know you’re there.  Thanks” that pepper my day.  Nothing concentrated.  Nothing difficult.  Nothing that’s that big of a sacrifice.  I need to go to confession, not because I’ve committed some murder or other horrid sin, but because I need that grace right now!!  Have I even taken the time for that?  no.

So, catholic guilt seems to only work on the mere mortals that I share my time here with.  My creator, well, that’s a different story altogether.  The One who made me somehow takes a back seat to nearly everyone else.  And that’s not all.  My children, my husband will immediately get put on hold if a friend needs me, or even just an acquaintance.  I felt horrible guilt knowing that someone I know, not well, but I think we could be great friends, was sick.  Needing support from those around her just to get daily things done.  BUT my children needing a more patient and thorough explanation of the latest science concept or phonics lesson will get a cold shoulder, or worse, a short, terse response. 

 When did my priorities get so messed up?  Was there a definite moment in time, or was this just a gradual, slow process that you don’t feel until you’re nearly to halfway done? 

I will work harder.  I will pray harder.  I might even actually stick to the schedule that I’ve made to aid in making sure my children and my God get my time too.  Those might possibly be the easiest parts to handle.  I just have to master how to say “no”. 

I’ve been meme’d.

1. Do you attend the Traditional Latin Mass or the Novus Ordo?
    Novus Ordo. I like understanding what’s going on. 

2. If you attend the TLM, how far do you drive to get there?
                                   ?

3. If you had to apply a Catholic label to yourself, what would it be?
     I am a Catholic.  I don’t believe that you can “label” Catholic.  Either you are or you aren’t.  There isn’t a “liberal” or a “conservative”.  If you follow The Church’s teaching, then, you’re Catholic.  If you don’t, you’re really not, are you?

4. Are you a comment junkie?
    As in do I leave a bunch of comments?  No, I can never think of anything brilliant to say, nothing to add.  NOT that I don’t have opinions on EVERYTHING, just don’t always know how to write em down.  Politely anyway.

5. Do you go back to read the comments on the blogs you’ve commented on?
Yes.

6. Have you ever left an anonymous comment on another blog?
Not that I remember, I don’t like the whole anonymous thing.  Kinda weird. 

7. Which blogroll would you most like to be on?
    hmmmmm, I don’t know.

8. Which blog is the first one you check?
    Become What You Are.

9. Have you met any other bloggers in person?
Yup. I have several close friends who blog

10. What are you reading?
Nothing right now.  I’ve tried.  But this brain of mine can’t seem to concentrate on more than one or two things at a time.  Evidently growing a baby makes me illiterate

oops

Our 4th child (second son) who happens to be 4 was diagnosed with SPD, or Sensory Processing Disorder, this past January.  We had known for a while that there were issues but were a little uneasy about making it “official”.  We did.  We go to OT (occupational therapy) now just every other week.  He’s improved greatly since we started therapy.  We still struggle with some things but I was under the impression that he was relatively under control.  That is until tonight.

He’s got a strong sensitivity to sound.  Being in loud places drives him beyond crazy.  He acts as if he feels like he’s in a tailspin.  We had noise reduction ear phones that he would wear when the sound got too much for him, but we took them back to the OT cause he seemed to be ok.  He shares a room with the 2 other boys (7 and nearly 2) and the 2 yo likes to go to bed and sing and call and talk and make noise etc.  This evening the 4 yo came up to me to talk.  He looked me square in the eye and said “I can’t sleep at night.  I keep waking up.  A lot.  It’s making me angry.  I keep waking up cause people won’t keep their frickin mouths shut!!!”  It was all I could do to keep from bursting out in laughter.  That he would feel so strongly about it that he would use that language.  That it has been upsetting him so much that he just couldn’t take it any more.  Poor guy.  He stood there looking at me like “well, woman, what are you going to do about it?”.  So I did what any self-respecting mother would do and put everyone else to bed and went to the 24 hr huge discount store, made a trip to their sporting goods dept, and picked up a pair of noise reduction head phones.  They’re meant to protect ears from the loud noises from guns, but would work fine for this son of mine to sleep.

He was up waiting for me when I got home.  Not incredibly patiently, but waiting nonetheless.  I pulled out the package, opened it and slipped the ear phones onto his head.  His face immediately relaxed, he looked at me and smiled and said “I can’t hear you” with the biggest grin on his face.  He then turned and went immediately to bed.  Halfway down the hallway my dh called out a clear “good night”.  He was not acknowledged.  That was one happy little boy. 

He was asleep by the time we made it back to his room to check to make sure he didn’t need tucking in again.

I love that today is the feast of Guardian Angels!  I love my guardian angel.  I always have.  I love that I have my protector there with me, the one God gave me!  I have to think that my son’s guardian angel was thinking that I had been given enough signs and it was time to be frank with me.  I did pick it up.  I’m a bit slow.