Weekend? What weekend?

I am tired.  I am also incredibly glad this weekend is over!!

Dh had a scout thing all day Saturday, I had soccer.  All day.  We were home 3 hrs.  My house looks like it.  Today was Mass and then 2 more soccer games and hair cuts for the 3 boys. 

I don’t like weekends like this.  Our house looks terrible, our yard got no attention and we are more worn than we were before the weekend started.  Luckily every weekend isn’t like this and we will jump back throughout the week and move on.

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magic

I couldn’t help but think tonight, as I sat pseudo watching the television how incredibly magical this point in pregnancy is.  As I was sitting there, trying to think about the show I was watching, after all of the children had been tucked snuggly into their beds, all I could think about was the little one stirring inside my womb.  His movements weren’t strong and painful like they will be later on in pregnancy, no these were soft, intimate and even fleeting.  These movements weren’t the kind that you call the kids over to watch from the other side of the room.  No.  These, these special little flutters, were meant just for me.  No one on the outside would be able to feel them, or watch them.  These movements were just between us.  For that  moment it was clear, tangible even, that I was carrying a beautiful, wonderful gift.  One that was given only to me.  Yes, I know that eventually, soon even, my husband will be in on this little touch of heaven, but right then there was a dance going on in my womb.  My baby was saying hello.  He was saying “I love you mommy”.   And all I could do was be silent, be still and smile knowing that I love him too.  Before I’ve laid my eyes upon him, before I’ve heard his cry, I love him.

These moments are fleeting, they only last a couple weeks, maybe months if you’re lucky, and then suddenly anyone can touch your growing belly and feel that life within you.  They can witness the baby, my baby, dancing, streching, moving either with their eyes, or their hands.  But right now.  This glorious right now.  Even with the tv on in the background, even before he takes his first breath, my baby and I are loving one another.  I wouldn’t trade this time of my life for anything. 

The appointment

We had our “big” appointment yesterday.  Sorta.   We got to the doctors office to find out that the person who schedules the appointments (scheduler?) decided not to enter our name into the computer.  At all.  Add to that that our doctor was out of the office for the day and they couldn’t see me.  ARGH!!  Dh took the day off for this one!  So she asked if we would like to do the ultrasound and make another appointment to see the doc when he’s in the office.  We opted for that one.  So I have to go back in on Wednesday to talk to the doctor, but I did get to see our little one!!

So for those of you keeping track, it’s a BOY!!  We’ll have 2 girls and 4 boys.  He looks healthy and happy and is swimming away in there.  It looks as if all of his body parts are there and I think everything looks good. 

sewing, crosses and St. Anthony

I keep saying “I need to blog” and then I have no idea what to blog about and I sit here staring at the blank screen.  It’s not that I don’t have a million things on my mind, I do, I just don’t know what to pick I guess.

 I have some sewing projects that are staring me down begging to be done.  5 short sleeved shirts for my boys, 3 of which are Halloween shirts, two pair of pants for the older 2 boys, a couple of dresses for my #1 (thank goodness I haven’t bought the fabric for that yet) and a skirt for #2 (once again, at least there’s no fabric involved here either).  I’ve got two crochet projects that have yet to be finished, a blanket for #5 who is now nearly 2, and a bag for #2 who I think has totally given up on ever seeing a finished product.  I am going to attempt to at least get one of the shirts done today, we’ll see.  I’ll have to let  you know.

 OH! On Monday we go to the doc for “the” ultrasound.  We’ll find out whether we’re doing ribbons and bows or more puppy dog tails.  I am hoping for ribbons and bows.  We’ll see.  God knows.  He knows what we needed and what we think we needed so we’ll see what happens. I will be sure to update that on Monday sometime!

I have misplaced my cross that I wear daily (along with my St. Gerard medal, you can’t have too many friends in high places) it’s somewhere between my bed and my bathroom counter.  I couldn’t tell  you where.  You would think it would be easy to spot.  It’s not huge, not tiny either though.  It’s silver.  Shouldn’t blend into the carpet.  I feel naked without it on, like I forgot to put my shirt on.  It almost seems silly, only almost.  Now, if I could just get into the habit of wearing my scapular as much as I’ve gotten into wearing the cross.  St. Anthony, please help me to locate my cross, you know how much it means to my heart.

The Candy Man

An incredible man passed away last night.  He was quiet, soft spoken and kind hearted. 

Every Sunday he would walk into Mass with a black brief case type thing and after Mass he would open it and pull out 2 old fashioned Whitman’s candy tins that he had, in the week previous, filled lovingly with candy.  All kinds.  And not just thrown in there, but placed with care.  The tins would be entrusted to some small child who would then take them to the narthex and place them on a shelf.  Every child there was allowed a piece.  Every child.  I learned tonight he brought the candy because he wanted to bring as many little children to God as he could, even if it took a piece of candy after Mass.

My children will miss him.  Badly.  My #4 child has already been missing him, as he’s been gone for some time with the illness that took his life.  He was hopeful that “the Candy Man” would get better and come back.  I guess he is back, in an incredibly beautiful way.  Now the children have a wonderful friend in a very high place!  I am certain that the prayers of all of these children for his soul will echo through heaven, probably for most of their lives.  He’s that kind of man.  He won’t be forgotten. 

I love the concept of Purgatory.  I love the teaching that we can, and should, pray for our dead.  They’re not lost to us at all.  It’s such a comfort and I am so grateful that I was given this faith to give to my children.  I know that they can take great comfort in the fact that whenever they think of the Candy Man, or anyone for that matter that’s died, that they can say a prayer.   I don’t think there is ever a time when I am more happy to be a Catholic than when I experience death.  There is so much hope, so much expectation, we are carried by the liturgy, we are carried by the prayers and we are carried by the knowledge that all is not lost.  All is not gone. 

My children will be singing in the choir at his funeral Mass on Monday morning.  He requested that as many children as can sing be allowed. 

Eternal rest grant unto him O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him.  May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed through the Mercy of God rest in peace.  

Amen.